I decided to draw in this abstract style because, at the time, I did not know how to draw people, but I was already skilled with the composition of abstract textures.
In the first page, I've represented my mother, sister, brother and myself. The landscapes on which we roll are representative of the gender roles expected by society. I show how I was able to 'pass' as male by using my masculine features and interests, but I still don't mesh with my role.
With the second page, I represent how my role has become ever more constricting. I represent this as a spiral that 'fixes' me in place. My 'escape' by crossdressing also shows how I felt that it was only limited to the times that I masturbated, and how I would 'lose myself' in my fantasy, by the extreme distortions of my encapsulated figure in the winding path until I am suddenly released, almost complete as my 'male' form, but I've left parts of myself behind.
Under the winding path shows how there is always a place for my female self in my fantasies, but she remains hidden by a barrier of my distorted male form and its own prison, which protects her from the perception of others, shown by long, slender pillars keeping up the whole structure.
The third shows my conflicting feminine male and fantastic female forms, now equal in their size and power. The smooth and rigid aspects of each are bleeding into each other and leading to their fusion and from their conflict, concentric images of myself compete to be perceived by others and to be the central core of myself.
3/11/2016 12:06:15 am
The words you wrote struck a chord with me. They are simple yet very powerful.
4/4/2020 01:21:41 am
In my morning meditation, feeling the deepest sense of gratitude for my life, I had the strange sense, that if I died today, I would have done what I came here to do. That is a remarkable operating system upgrade.
6/26/2020 05:23:23 pm
11/21/2020 02:58:40 pm
I have browsed most of your posts. This post is probably where I got the most useful information for my research. Thanks for posting, maybe we can see more on this. Are you aware of any other websites on this subject.
Leave a Reply.
I live in Adelaide. I have a cat. I like to program and draw. I am a girl. I am also trans.